Alice's Resturant (please help) - GuitarZone.com FORUM

Yeah, he did it in D. Put a capo on the second fret if you wanna play with the recording for some reason. Anyway, here it is...

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ALICE'S RESTAURANT
by Arlo Guthrie

The whole tune is just a common ragtime progression done in the key of C. It's
often called the 1-6-2-5, used on many tunes like the old blues-rag "Come On
Down To My House, Baby, Ain't Nobody Home But Me". A big favorite of Blind
Boy Fuller, John Jackson, Blind Blake, Arlo's dad Woodie and many others. Arlo
capoed on the second fret for the recording, putting it into the true pitch-key
of D, but it is played "as if" in C. For the chords below I'll use chord-names
based on the Key of C Progression. The whole of the tune is in the chorus. For
the spoken verses, he just repeated the progression of the first part of the
chorus over and over.

So here it is.......(walk into it with these notes: 6-string/3rd fret to
5th-string/open to 5th-string/2nd-fret to 5th-string/3rd fret which is the
opening C-chord's tonic-note. Then.......

[C]You can get any[A]thing you want at [D7}Alice's [G]restau[C]rant
[C]You can get any[A]thing you want at [D7]Alice's [G]restau[G7]rant
[C]Walk right in, it's around the back
[F]Just a half a mile from the [D7]railroad [G or G7]track
[C]You can get any[A]thing you want at [D7}Alice's [G]restaur[C]ant

And that's it. You can embellish it with simple things like alternating
the bass notes between the lower strings, or in the A-position alternating between
A X02225 (sometimes called the "long-A") and the A7 X02223, or in the G-position
between the fretted one-string and the open-one string, but basically that's the
whole tune. Just improv a little through it using your thumb and index finger with
a few of the things above or a couple of melody-notes here and there within the
chords.

The chords:

C=(3)32010 A=X02225 D7=X00212 G=320003 G7=320001 F=103211 or 133211

CHORUS:
You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant
Walk right in, it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant
RECITATION:
This song is called "Alice's Restaurant." It's about Alice, and the restaurant, but "Alice's Restaurant" is not the name of the restaurant, that's just the name of the song. That's why I call the song "Alice's Restaurant."

Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago... two years ago, on Thanksgiving, when my friend and
I went up to visit Alice at the restaurant.

But Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in the church nearby the restaurant,
in the bell tower with her husband Ray and Facha, the dog.

And livin' in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of room downstairs where the pews used
to be, and havin' all that room (seein' as how they took out all the pews), they decided that
they didn't have to take out their garbage for a long time.

We got up here and found all the garbage in there and we decided that it'd be a friendly gesture
for us to take the garbage down to the city dump.

So we took the half-a-ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW microbus, took shovels and
rakes and implements of destruction, and headed on toward the city dump. Well, we got there and
there was a big sign and a chain across the dump sayin', "This dump is closed on Thanksgiving,"
and we'd never heard of a dump closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes,
we drove off into the sunset lookin' for another place to put the garbage.

We didn't find one till we came to a side road, and off the side of the side road was another
fifteen-foot cliff, and at the bottom of the cliff was another pile of garbage. And we decided
that one big pile was better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up, we decided
to throw ours down. That's what we did.

Drove back to the church, had a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat, went to sleep, and
didn't get up until the next morning, when we got a phone call from Officer Obie. He said, "Kid, we found your name on a envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of garbage and I just wanted to
know if you had any information about it."

And I said, "Yes sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie. I put that envelope under that garbage.
After speakin' to Obie for about forty-five minutes on the telephone, we finally arrived at the
truth of the matter and he said that we had to go down and pick up the garbage, and also had to
go down and speak to him at the Police Officer Station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the
shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the Police Officer Station.

Now, friends, there was only one of two things that Obie could've done at the Police Officer
Station, and the first was that he could've given us a medal for bein' so brave and honest on the
telephone (which wasn't very likely, and we didn't expect it), and the other thing was that he
could've bawled us out and told us never to be seen drivin' garbage around in the vicinity again,
which is what we expected.

But when we got to the Police Officer Station, there was a third possibility that we hadn't
even counted upon, and we was both immediately arrested, handcuffed, and I said, "Obie, I can't
pick up the garbage with these here handcuffs on." He said: "Shut up kid, and get in the back of
the patrol car."

And that's what we did . . . sat in the back of the patrol car, and drove to the quote scene of
the crime unquote.

I wanna tell you 'bout the town of Stockbridge, Massachusetts, where this is happenin'. They got
three stop signs, two police officers, and one police car, but when we got to the scene of the
crime, there was five police officers and three police cars, bein' the biggest crime of the last
fifty years and everybody wanted to get in the newspaper story about it.

And they was usin' up all kinds of cop equipment that they had hangin' around the Police Officer
Station. They was takin' plaster tire tracks, footprints, dog-smellin' prints and they took
twenty-seven 8 x 10 colored glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the
back of each one explainin' what each one was, to be used as evidence against us. Took pictures
of the approach, the getaway, the northwest corner, the southwest corner...
and that's not to mention the aerial photography!

After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was gonna put us in a cell.
He said: "Kid, I'm gonna put you in a cell. I want your wallet and your belt."
I said, "Obie, I can understand your wantin' my wallet, so I don't have any money to spend
in the cell, but what do you want my belt for?" and he said, "Kid, we don't want any
hangin's." I said, "Obie, did you think I was gonna hang myself for litterin'?"

Obie said he was makin' sure, and, friends, Obie was, 'cause he took out the toilet seat so I
couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he took out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend
the bars, roll the toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie was
makin' sure.

It was about four or five hours later that Alice--(remember Alice? There's a song about
Alice.)--Alice came by and, with a few nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail,
and we went back to the church, had another Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat, and
didn't get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court. We walked in, sat down,
Obie came in with the twenty-seven 8 x 10 colored glossy pictures with the circles and arrows
and a paragraph on the back of each one, sat down.

Man came in, said, "All rise!" We all stood up, and Obie stood up with the twenty-seven 8 x 10
colored glossy pictures, and the judge walked in, sat down, with a seein' eye dog and he sat
down. We sat down.

Obie looked at the seein' eye dog . . . then at the twenty-seven 8 x 10 colored glossy pictures
with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one . . . and looked at the
seein' eye dog . . . and then at the twenty-seven 8 x 10 colored glossy pictures with the
circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each on and began to cry.

Because Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American blind justice, and
there wasn't nothin' he could do about it, and the judge wasn't gonna look at the twenty-seven
8 by 10 colored glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each
one explainin' what each one was, to be used as evidence against us.

And we was fined fifty dollars and had to pick up the garbage... in the snow.

But that's not what I'm here to tell you about.

I'm here to talk about the draft.

They got a buildin' down in New York City called Whitehall Street, where you walk in, you get
injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected!

I went down and got my physical examination one day, and I walked in, sat down (got good and
drunk the night before, so I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning, 'cause I
wanted to look like the All-American Kid from New York City. I wanted to feel like . . . I
wanted to be the All-American Kid from New York), and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down,
brung down, hung up and all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly things.

And I walked in, I sat down, they gave me a piece of paper that said: "Kid, see the psychiatrist
in room 604."

I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I wanna kill. I wanna kill! I wanna see blood and gore and
guts and veins in my teeth! Eat dead, burnt bodies! I mean: Kill. Kill!"

And I started jumpin' up and down, yellin' "KILL! KILL!" and he started jumpin' up and down with
me, and we was both jumpin' up and down, yellin', "KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL!" and the sergeant
came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, said "You're our boy". Didn't feel
too good about it.

Proceeded down the hall, gettin' more injections, inspections, detections, neglections, and all
kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me at the thing there, and I was there for two hours...
three hours... four hours... I was there for a long time goin' through all kinds of mean, nasty,
ugly things, and I was just havin' a tough time there, and they was inspectin', injectin', every
single part of me, and they was leavin' no part untouched!

Proceeded through, and I finally came to see the very last man. I walked in, sat down, after a
whole big thing there. I walked up, and I said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we only got
one question: Have you ever been arrested?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of Alice's Restaurant Massacree with full orchestration
and five-part harmony and stuff like that, and other phenomenon.

He stopped me right there and said, "Kid, have you ever been to court?" And I proceeded to tell
him the story of the twenty-seven 8 x 10 colored glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and
a paragraph on the back of each one . . .

He stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I want you to go over and sit down on that bench that
says 'Group W'."

And I walked over to the bench there, and there's... Group W is where they put you if you may

not be moral enough to join the army after committin' your special crime.

There was all kinds of mean, nasty, ugly-lookin' people on the bench there . . . there was
mother-rapers . . . father-stabbers . . . father-rapers! FATHER-RAPERS sittin' right there on
the bench next to me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible and crime fightin'
guys were sittin' there on the bench, and the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one . . . the meanest
father-raper of them all . . . was comin' over to me, and he was mean and ugly and nasty and
horrible and all kinds of things, and he sat down next to me. He said, "Kid, what'd you get?"

I said, "I didn't get nothin'. I had to pay fifty dollars and pick up the garbage."

He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?" and I said, "Litterin'"' . . . . And they all moved
away from me on the bench there, with the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean, nasty things,
till I said, "And creatin' a nuisance . . . " And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had
a great time on the bench talkin' about crime, mother-stabbin', father-rapin', . . . all kinds
of groovy things that we was talkin' about on the bench, and everything was fine.

We was smokin' cigarettes and all kinds of things, until the sergeant came over, had some paper
in his hand, held it up and said: "KIDSTHISPIECEOFPAPERSGOTFOURTYSVENPAGESTHIRTYSEVENSENTENCESFIFTYEIGHTWORDSWE
WANTTOKNOWTHE
DETAILSOFTHECRIMETHETIMEOFTHECRIMEANDANYOTHERKINDOFTHINGYOUGOTTOSAYPERTAININGTOA
NDABOUTTHE
CRIMEWEWANTTOKNOWTHEARRESTINGOFFICERSNAMEANDANYOTHERTHINGYOUGOTTOSAY . . ."

And he talked for forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said.

But we had fun fillin' out the forms and playin' with the pencils on the bench there.

I filled out the Massacree with the four-part harmony. Wrote it down there just like it was and
everything was fine. And I put down my pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there...
on the other side . . . in the middle of the other side . . . away from everything else on the
other side . . . in parentheses . . . capital letters . . . quotated . . . read the following
words: "Kid, have you rehabilitated yourself?"

I went over to the sergeant. Said, "Sergeant, you got a lot of god-damned gall to ask me if I've
rehabilitated myself! I mean . . . I mean . . . I mean that you send . . . I'm sittin' here on
the bench . . . I mean I'm sittin' here on the Group W bench, 'cause you want to know if I'm
moral enough to join the army, burn women, kids, houses and villages after bein' a litterbug."

He looked at me and said, "Kid, we don't like your kind! We're gonna send your fingerprints off
to Washington"!

And, friends, somewhere in Washington, enshrined in some little folder, is a study in black and
white of my fingerprints.

And the only reason I'm singin' you the song now is 'cause you may know somebody in a similar
situation.

Or you may be in a similar situation, and if you're in a situation like that, there's only one
thing you can do:

Walk into the shrink wherever you are, just walk in, say, "Shrink, . . . you can get anything
you want at Alice's Restaurant", and walk out.

You know, if one person, just one person, does it, they may think he's really sick and they
won't take him.

And if two people do it, in harmony, they may think they're both faggots and they won't take
either of them.

And if three people do it! Can you imagine three people walkin' in, singin' a bar of "Alice's
Restaurant" and walkin' out? They may think it's an organization!

And can you imagine fifty people a day? I said FIFTY people a day . . . walkin' in, singin' a
bar of "Alice's Restaurant" and walkin' out? Friends, they may think it's a MOVEMENT, and that's
what it is: THE ALICE'S RESTAURANT ANTI-MASSACREE MOVEMENT! . . . and all you gotta do to join
is to sing it the next time it comes around on the guitar.

With feelin'.

CHORUS

Yeah, I think so (learn it in a week). Try it like this.... using only your thumb go through the chords counting "one-and-two-and-three-and-four-and-". Hold this 332010 C-chord. Use your thumb to pick the 5-string on the one-beat then any treble-string on the and-beat then the six-string on the two-beat then another treble string on the next and-beat, 5-string on the three-beat, then a treble-string, then 6-string on the four-beat then a treble-beat, etc, bass-treble-bass-treble-bass-treble-bass-treble....like that. Number-beats=bass strings, and-beats=treble strings. Do that a little bit to establish the "feel" of what you're trying to do. Use your thumb only at first. As you establish that feel you can start doing the and-beats with your index. Then you just kind of go with that rhythm through the other chords. The thumb-string might change (like onto the 4 and 5) but it's basically the same way of doing it. Once you become familiar with the tune's feel and the chord changes, you can begin to embelish it a little if you want (although it could stand alone with only the alternating-beat chords if it had to). Give it a shot. It's not as hard as it might seem at first. Just take it slow.

And 95% ot the tune is just doing that C-thing. Occassionally walking into it with this........

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---0---2---3-<this last note is a "one-beat" starting off a C-chord
-3-------------

You only really need to make the chord changes for the choruses at the beginning and the end
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