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Say Goodbyebroke that block like no ones business


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#1 spnj

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Posted 27 December 2007 - 08:13 PM

hey all, after a long GTU haitus, finally wrote something new... eugh bout damn time. Anyway, I first have a confession to make before anyone goes and reads/listens... I stole the title from another GTUer I know, heinous... anyway, I can't find his original post to give him props for helping me out anyway.. if you wrote the original song, thanks for the kickstart.

Be as harsh as you want.. thew recording is ass. just threw it together... I could barely hold a note at the end.. started coughing... lame.



Say Goodbye

words and music: Jason Henry

Soundclick LINK

I recognize that look in your eyes
Cause I've seen it before
And every time you say goodnight
I wish you'd close the door

An angel in designer clothes
A devil in disguise
I want to know, if you know
how deep does this lie

go

A boulevard of broken hearts
I havent slept in days

Been thinking hard, and drinking hard
Did you ever love me anyway?

But as the frozen sun begins to rise
I feel the tears come slowly to my eyes

For you to say goodbye
tonight tonight tonight
You always say goodnight
I'm tired of the lies
I'm sick of always waiting
Sick of all these games were playing
So I think its best if I
Just say goodbye


That little blue dress, your such a mess
I wish I had known
But I must confess I love that dress
Especially on my floor

You know you know you know I adored you
you know you know you know I didn't want to

Have to say goodbye
tonight tonight tonight
This is no goodnight
I'm tired of the lies
I'm sick of always waiting
Sick of all these games were playing
So I think its best if I
Just say goodbye

You know you know you know I adored you
you know you know you know I didn't want to

Say goodbye
Say good bye
Say good bye
Say goodbye


cheers


J
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Some day I will murder you- Jeff

#2 dorio

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Posted 29 December 2007 - 04:27 AM

I didn't like the lyrics much at first glance esp the verses where you deal in cliched rhyming and all (I bet you're aware of that) although the chorus was way better. But when I heard the music and the way you sing it, it made much more sense to me. It's a nice simple tune. It's relaxing even. So you see, to judge a love song solely by it's lyrics is not an easy task you gotta hear the thing itself. Naw the cough wasn't lame. Gave some personality to the demo ahahah. The "a boulevard of broken hearts" line made me smile. Sweet little cliché.

#3 NicholasII

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Posted 29 December 2007 - 12:47 PM

a bit james blunt for my own taste but it achieved what it set out to

#4 DerrickBrandon

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Posted 02 January 2008 - 04:47 PM

This song was nice. I think "James Blunt" hit the nail on the head. Had you sold this song to him you would be a millionaire. Think it works, I am a pop-writer and I think you did a great job.

I would suggest some singing lessons but I mean that in a non offensive way. I can definatly hear the talent you have, just if you hone your breathing so the timing of the lyrics come out a little stronger and the "belting" notes would be a little more on point. Please dont take that as a bad critique. Because as I said I can DEFINITLY hear the talent in your voice. Most people dont have that!

smile.gif

Great job bro!

#5 spnj

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Posted 03 January 2008 - 01:28 PM

Thanks guys, im glad you are liking it. I hope to actually do a good recording of it when im not feeling strained to just record something. I hope you'll have a listen to the next recording when I post brandon, I think that vocally that was a poor recording and I can certainly do much better, im glad you think I have some talent though, I don't beleive that myself sometimes tongue.gif
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#6 ronnie_rocker

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Posted 03 January 2008 - 07:26 PM

This is actually a good song as it has a great n catchy(easily) remembered tune.

I thought the song wasn't exciting at all actually when u sang the 1st verse but as you went on, it shows u know alot about building dynamics and maximizing color of the song n voice timbre.

I like your vocals the most as it somehow resembled Howie Day in its hit single collide.
Your way of building dynamics reminds me of "The blower's daughter" where the verse was like talk singing abit then power-release attack in voice at the chorus. Somehow this song reminds me of "It's a wonderful world" by James Morrison in melody.

biggrin.gif

Overall, musically, it is equivalent to top-chart songs which means it has alot of potential but the lyrics somehow uses too many repetition, kinda lack color there.

Like the word "know" is relative to "known" etc.

Can't wait to here ur re-recorded version.

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Nice.

#7 _brad_

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Posted 03 January 2008 - 10:48 PM

first 3 stanzas are the best in the song i will check out the soundclick one day soon dont like blunty but like good pop songs so i will make the effort when i get new headphones

for me after the first part that i already spoke about u go into using some less creative ideas and it becomes a little more bland its hard to keep creative ideas flowing and very easy to write beige but saying that its not the end of the world u tell the story well enough

good work

brad

#8 thrAsher***X

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Posted 03 January 2008 - 11:40 PM

i think its a catchy song and your voice suits it very well........i even thought the cough and such simply added character and a live raw feeling.....i usually dont like most of the stuff posted on here but this is quite nice

Edited by thrAsher***X, 03 January 2008 - 11:50 PM.


The best show I have ever seen

#9 Cuphands

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Posted 05 January 2008 - 02:06 PM

Along with Derrick I think you have to learn to control breathing, but you picked up pretty quickly in the song and by the time the second part of the first verse occurs the confidence is shining through. There's a quality to your voice (since we're talking vocals now) that I like, in the lower volumes it has a pleasant sort-a-crackling quality to it which I like, and when you open up for the chorus, there's a pleasant character to it. Be proud.

For the song itself, it has that pop quality to it, the chorus sticks. It's unashamed pop sensibilty, and I for one, find it very pleasing.

#10 noodle69

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Posted 07 January 2008 - 02:04 AM

it was ok !

the guitar was a little too low , or the vox too loud which left it disjointed somewhat .
i would say that it was a decent enough lo-fi recording tho , along the same lines as jeffrey lewis but minus the humour .

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remember that i love you - no matter what i say

#11 mantra

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Posted 07 January 2008 - 09:54 PM

I agree, the guitar could be a little louder, and I hear some hiss. However, this adds a 'rough' edge to it, which when it blends with everything, makes it ok. It felt pretty radio ready for today's stations. I like the stattac-y guitar playing, adds a bit of funk. That singelhandedly earns this song a listenable experience in a rockers ears, because if it was just strumming ... uh, uh, uh, it just would be too cheesy. When you start strumming the chorus is different, you add a different texture to it all. I actually like it, however girly the lyrics are. The ending was comical, I loved it!
<-- NEW SONG availible! Check it, yo.

#12 mistershow

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Posted 08 January 2008 - 05:25 PM

Nice song - Keep it up and definitely keep posting songs here - it's a great way to get valuable feedback.

#13 spnj

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Posted 16 March 2008 - 04:11 PM

Alright here is a new version I recorded this weekend. I locked myself away in my room for hours doing it.


CLICK HERE FOR THE SOUNDCLICK
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You're really rather good. - Greame
One of the top five song writers on this forum- Will
Some day I will murder you- Jeff

#14 tml

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Posted 16 March 2008 - 05:41 PM

It's cool. I enjoyed it. Reminded me of Counting Crows, which makes sense because of your sig.

Nice job.

And hats off to a fellow Canadian.

Edited by tml, 16 March 2008 - 05:42 PM.




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