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Chameleon JamPretty Out There


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#1 Captain_Trips

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Posted 05 January 2008 - 01:47 PM

Like a weird carnival ride that just wont let you off . . . .

There are lyrics for it, Ill post them here but the music is pretty much just a jam. For now, until I get a good condenser mic.

Dreams of Sand

Had a chameleon
Feeling blue
Only did what he wanted to
all the time stealin from you
still turns round to sing them blues

go go get what you can
build your dreams in feilds of sand
go go get what you can
better hurry theyre onto your plan

Notes he sings are out of key
Blues dont jive when your feeling glee
Words just suffer emptily
His motivations are a mystery
Fools himself but dont fool me

go go get what you can
build your dreams in feilds of sand
go go get what you can
better hurry theyre onto your plan

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Everybody's bragging and drinking that wine
I can tell the Queen of Diamonds by the way she shine
Come to Daddy on an inside straight
I got no chance of losing this time
No, I got no chance of losing this time

#2 Cuphands

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Posted 05 January 2008 - 01:57 PM

I LOVE how it just immediately starts off with that great, snaky melody with all those passing notes. There are those great stopping notes that blend in great with the backing guitars chords for instant super-harmony.

Altough it does get a bit challenging on the ears after a while like this. I saw the lyrics sheet and was hoping for some singing right away, but I see you're still waiting before recording those. There are some great melodic ideas in there and the main motif is a strong point, but I'd like to see it interspersed with vocal verses, then the motif again (and you can extend on it each time if you please, perhaps making the amount of bars between vocal and instrumental interchangeable too), and then another vocal verse, to give it room to breathe. Hold back, let 'er rip, hold back, keep a dynamic tease throughout.

Keep us posted!

#3 Captain_Trips

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Posted 05 January 2008 - 02:02 PM

Thanks for the listen. Yeah I pretty much just let loose this time and blew my load. Ill really need to reign in the melody a bit to get the vocals down. Stick to something, and then tease the some other themes throughout. And the passing notes are key, a good time to be had between D Dorian and F Lydian there. Ill have to do some work and get some vocals going.
Everybody's bragging and drinking that wine
I can tell the Queen of Diamonds by the way she shine
Come to Daddy on an inside straight
I got no chance of losing this time
No, I got no chance of losing this time

#4 noodle69

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Posted 07 January 2008 - 01:39 AM

quite a nice melody going on there .

on the tech side , i would say , if you dont , mind that there were issues with the phrasing that let the melody down . it would be nice to hear a the continuous melody broken by slurring into each passage and maybe some bends and grace notes to give it a more dynamic edge.

the tone of the guitar was a little too harsh for something that would be a nice jazzy piece . i dont know what guitar , set up etc you have but i would say that choosing a mellower sound using neck p-up , less high gain and maybe a little compression would help achieve that ( if thats what you want - haha - maybe not )
the lead guitar seemed a little clipped in the recording .

fading in and out would help the track a little , so that it sounds like youve just walked into a lounge bar and missed the intro.

i liked it but you need to develop the dynamics of your phrasing . if you listen to planet caravan by sabbath i reckon that kind of feel would enhance this greatly .

6/10

smile.gif

do another , do another !!!!

Edited by noodle69, 07 January 2008 - 01:42 AM.

remember that i love you - no matter what i say

#5 Captain_Trips

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Posted 07 January 2008 - 03:55 AM

Thanks for the listen. The number one thing I know I need to work on is my phrasing. I actually listened back after some time and I was appalled at the clear lack of direction there. Ive heard it said that Miles Davis was the best at knowing when to play and knowing when not to play. I am no Miles Davis, as far as that is concerned.

And I am working on more of these type of compositions. Self made backing track with guitar pro and some lead work overdubbed.

The main problem with the lead is that my blues driver, records much harsher and louder than it comes out of my amp. What I hear when I record is properly balanced but then the recording seems much too harsh. Im playing through a Fender Highway 1 Telecaster, and I do think that the neck pup would be a better idea.

I promise the next one I post will be better developed melodically.

Edited by Captain_Trips, 07 January 2008 - 03:56 AM.

Everybody's bragging and drinking that wine
I can tell the Queen of Diamonds by the way she shine
Come to Daddy on an inside straight
I got no chance of losing this time
No, I got no chance of losing this time

#6 dorio

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Posted 07 January 2008 - 07:30 AM

I think you could really do something great with that demo. That melody's simply begging for vocals.... At any moment I expected one saxophone to pop in and take over to kinda break the repetition. You got the musique and you got the lyrics all you gotta do now is a merger. Good luck.

#7 spnj

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Posted 07 January 2008 - 07:38 AM

For sure you've got something here and I would love to cut out half of the lead guitar and inject the words to create something that I think would really work. It reminds me of bands that play around my neck of the woods. Basically 45% of them play this kind of Jam material and the others are hard rock, point is. it sounds good. altough I got bored quick. spice it up and I would want to hear it again.
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#8 Captain_Trips

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Posted 07 January 2008 - 06:08 PM

Cool, thanks for the responses everyone, Ill try to put the words in there and reign in on my aimless fret wanking.
Everybody's bragging and drinking that wine
I can tell the Queen of Diamonds by the way she shine
Come to Daddy on an inside straight
I got no chance of losing this time
No, I got no chance of losing this time



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