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Loved You Yesterday ( New Song )


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#1 MattBell

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Posted 15 March 2008 - 05:05 PM

Hey Cats wink.gif ,

This is an older song of mine that I re-recorded today, I sent a rough version to Tracy Lalonde and she made me a drum track from Fruity Loops. So thanks goes out to Tracy for that one.
If you could give me your feedback on the song, that would be fantastic. I'll type out the lyrics incase anyone can't really make out a word or two that i'm saying.
The song is on My Soundclick and is called Loved You Yesterday

Thanks again for your support and comments. cool.gif


LYRICS

The days have come and gone
And our lives went by so fast
And now I truly know
Our forbidden love wont last
And I hope you see me through
Don't blame it on your self

'Cause its the truth about us
It's been there from the start
Are you happy with yourself
Since we've been apart
Through all the lies
And all the anguish
How can you look in the mirror
And be so selfish
Do you, Do you, Do you, Do You
Feel The Same
'Cause I loved you
Loved you
Yesterday, And I still do

And the truth about us
Will someday be revealed
But until that time
we're just memories in a field

'Cause its the truth about us
It's been there from the start
Are you happy with yourself
Since we've been apart
Through all the lies
And all the anguish
How can you look in the mirror
And be so selfish
Do you, Do you, Do you, Do You
Feel The Same
'Cause I loved you
Loved you
Yesterday, And I still do

And Everytime I look In your eyes
I see you looking back in mine

'Cause its the truth about us
It's been there from the start
Are you happy with yourself
Since we've been apart
Through all the lies
And all the anguish
How can you look in the mirror
And be so selfish
Do you, Do you, Do you, Do You
Feel The Same
'Cause I loved you
Loved you
Yesterday, And I still do

#2 brenton7

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Posted 15 March 2008 - 06:14 PM

I like the song, you had me hooked from the three chord rise that is throughout the song. the lyrics are good, the first verse really paints a picture and the chorus reminds me of a relationship I've been in recently so those words really work. Lyrically i wouldn't touch it because songs like this are only ruined if too much work is put into them. Recording wise, you've done a good job, I've yet to discover a good way to record in my acoustic-less home. Good beats as well, my praise goes out to your friend and FL, which is, btw, an extremely good programme to use for drum beats, I would reccomend it to anyone (and no, i dont work for them!)

Good track. well done. Ill check out the rest of your songs as well.

#3 tml

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Posted 15 March 2008 - 09:47 PM

Hey Matt. Hahaha. I'm glad you posted this, and I was going to tell you to anyways.

You already know what I think of this.

But yeah, I'm still working on my 'idea', and hopefully it'll be finished by tomorrow. And I think a recording session is order next weekend when I'm home (ie: when you skip on Friday. Hahahaha). I don't think we recorded anything when I was home for my Spring Break... I won't be able to bring any guitars home this time though. Anyways. Yeah laugh.gif

#4 waz416

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Posted 16 March 2008 - 10:54 AM

Nice recording quality man....so pro....guitar tone is just perfect.....ure vocals are awesome....so clear and a very nice....sleepy kindda voice...girls would wet themselves bro....hahahaa.......a nice song....i love it...something u can jsut put on and lay in bed u know while reminiscent ......tracy sent it to me.....and I loved it .....so yeah the only suggestion is maybe add alil more instrumentation on it....I know tml will work her post rocki-sh guitar wonder on it...but yeah I love it.....very very nice....I don't see/hear a distinctive chorus...but the song flows beautifully and flawlessly.....has a dashboard confessional vibe.....well Im off to listening to it for the 3rd time now...Keep rockin playa.....PEAC EOUT
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#5 tml

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Posted 16 March 2008 - 11:45 AM

QUOTE (waz416 @ Mar 16 2008, 02:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Nice recording quality man....so pro....guitar tone is just perfect.....ure vocals are awesome....so clear and a very nice....sleepy kindda voice...girls would wet themselves bro....hahahaa.......a nice song....i love it...something u can jsut put on and lay in bed u know while reminiscent ......tracy sent it to me.....and I loved it .....so yeah the only suggestion is maybe add alil more instrumentation on it....I know tml will work her post rocki-sh guitar wonde itr on...but yeah I love it.....very very nice....I don't see/hear a distinctive chorus...but the song flows beautifully and flawlessly.....has a dashboard confessional vibe.....well Im off to listening to it for the 3rd time now...Keep rockin playa.....PEAC EOUT



SHHH!!! (You weren't supposed to say anything about that! dry.gif ) laugh.gif

#6 Cuphands

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Posted 16 March 2008 - 12:03 PM

What up Matt, yo sleep.gif

Ooh crisp clear recording, like how the guitar cuts through the muffled drums. Nice vox, I like the doubling on the 'do you' in the choruses, gives it another push in an otherwise steady song. The meter used in the lyrics throughout prevents it from being divided into sections, a seemless kind of quality I tend to dislike, but it worked well within this songs context, as if the music says "but I'm moving on", contrary to the lyrics. laugh.gif

#7 spnj

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Posted 16 March 2008 - 03:57 PM

QUOTE (MattBell @ Mar 16 2008, 01:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The days have come and gone
And our lives went by so fast
And now I truly know <-- I would get rid of the word truly here.. flows better.
Our forbidden love wont last
And I hope you see me through <-- maybe get rid of the And here.
Don't blame it on your self

Good start, but its over shadowed by a feeling of lyric crowding. You tried to put too many words into too small a space.


'Cause its the truth about us
It's been there from the start
Are you happy with yourself
Since we've been apart
Through all the lies
And all the anguish
How can you look in the mirror
And be so selfish
Do you, Do you, Do you, Do You
Feel The Same
'Cause I loved you
Loved you
Yesterday, And I still do

I liked this part better, mostly because it just flowed better. The do you's could have been recorded better I think.. maybe a bit slower so it doesnt seem so rushed.



And the truth about us
Will someday be revealed
But until that time
we're just memories in a field

I don't really like this. seems incomplete, crowded and serves little point. I know what your trying to say but I think that it could have been presented better.

'Cause its the truth about us
It's been there from the start
Are you happy with yourself
Since we've been apart
Through all the lies
And all the anguish
How can you look in the mirror
And be so selfish
Do you, Do you, Do you, Do You
Feel The Same
'Cause I loved you
Loved you
Yesterday, And I still do

And Everytime I look In your eyes
I see you looking back in mine


Ok Ok bare with me.... what if instead of going into the full chorus here.. you do something like

And Everytime I look In your eyes
I see you looking back in mine... (hold this note)
Do you, Do you, Do you, Do you
Feel the same
Do you, Do you, Do you, Do you
Feel this pain?
Do you, Do you, Know the truth that lies,
So closely to the surface
So closely in your eyes
Do you, Do you, Do you, Do you
Feel the same
'Cause I loved you
Loved you
Yesterday
Loved you yes-ter-day.



Overall I really liked it, right up my alley. I think it needs tweaking and don't hold back on the singing. I can see this song really coming alive with some strong vocals. Keep it up! I look forward to reading more of your stuff.

Oh and hey maybe you could check out the posts I have up a running right now, my songs Say Goodbye and Be Like you.

Cheers


J
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#8 MattBell

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Posted 18 March 2008 - 06:42 PM

So, Thanks a lot to everyone who's added replys. Those are definatly really nice comments and make me want to keep recording...wow...I wasn't expecting some of those replys...Thanks again.

And If anyone else wants to listen to it and comment, Feel free.

#9 djhemp42

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Posted 23 March 2008 - 08:40 PM

Haven't listened, so I'm just going by the words here.

You've made this ALL about the refrain. I agree with J, do something to change up the third repetition. The other bits are sort of just hanging there, there's no meat to them. The first verse doesn't really grab me, it's too much "telling." Just something about the phrase "our forbidden love won't last," why is it forbidden, who is the narrator, what is this story? The verses let the refrain down, because I do think there is a lovely moment there in the refrain.



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