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2nd songlet me know what ya think


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#1 knuckles2cloud

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Posted 04 June 2004 - 08:13 PM

heres another song all, let me know what you think


im drowing in the rain
when finally someone came
she said i know its hurtin you
but its killin me
so just let it be
and come with me

chorus ( distortion )

now shes gone
it seems like its been so long
why did she have to go?
the rain, its falling, really slow

verse 2 ( clean )

im not the only one
havin no fun
out in the rain
with a buncha shame
and then, she finally came

chorus ( distortion )

now shes gone
it seems like its been so long
why did she have to go?
the rain, its falling, really slow

thanx all, let me know what ya think, and if i need some work in certain areas ( by the way, the song is called " the rain " ) smile.gif

#2 dorio

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Posted 04 June 2004 - 08:27 PM

That's a typical case of forced rhym, but as you just start to write, it's understandable. But you must be warned on the evil of forced rhyms, they can kill
a song, and distort what you wanted to say. Especially the chorus. Keep on writin'



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