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knuckles2cloud

Member Since 03 Jun 2004
Offline Last Active Nov 10 2004 07:28 AM
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Topics I've Started

NEED CRITISM!

03 September 2004 - 09:56 PM

verse 1, clean, possible chorus

i used to be one of them,
but i can pretend,
when plad was cool,
and long hair was lame,
nowadays just aint the way it seems',
If you wouldn't mind I would like it blue

bridge, distortion

is there another reason for your stain
is there anotehr reason, for my pain,
sometimes i cant find my way
back in and out of the day,

verse 2 , clean, possible chorus

all the windows are black,
my friends are back,
the vandalism was cool,
If you wouldn't mind I would like it blue

bridge, distortion

is there another reason for your stain
is there anotehr reason, for my pain,
sometimes i cant find my way
back in and out of the day,

chorus, distortion,

fight, fight with indecision
play, play without wisdom
tell, tell of your vision
fight, fight, dont be proud,

solo

verse 3, clean, possible chorus

i used to be one of them,
but i can pretend,
when plad was cool,
and long hair was lame,
nowadays just aint the way it seems',
If you wouldn't mind I would like it blue

bridge, distortion

is there another reason for your stain
is there anotehr reason, for my pain,
sometimes i cant find my way
back in and out of the day,

chorus, distortion

fight, fight with indecision
play, play without wisdom
tell, tell of your vision
fight, fight, dont be proud,

------------------------------------------------
this is like my 5th song or so i think, im trying to spend a little more time on them now... hehe, would love to hear ANYONES thoughts about this song, and btw, this is all sung very clean, not screaming any lyrics... later
smile.gif

new song , havent posted in ages

02 September 2004 - 06:48 PM

verse 1, clean, possible chorus

i used to be one of them,
but i can pretend,
when plad was cool,
and long hair was lame,
nowadays just aint the way it seems',
If you wouldn't mind I would like it blue

bridge, distortion

is there another reason for your stain
is there anotehr reason, for my pain,
sometimes i cant find my way
back in and out of the day,

verse 2 , clean, possible chorus

all the windows are black,
my friends are back,
the vandalism was cool,
If you wouldn't mind I would like it blue

bridge, distortion

is there another reason for your stain
is there anotehr reason, for my pain,
sometimes i cant find my way
back in and out of the day,

chorus, distortion,

fight, fight with indecision
play, play without wisdom
tell, tell of your vision
fight, fight, dont be proud,

solo

verse 3, clean, possible chorus

i used to be one of them,
but i can pretend,
when plad was cool,
and long hair was lame,
nowadays just aint the way it seems',
If you wouldn't mind I would like it blue

bridge, distortion

is there another reason for your stain
is there anotehr reason, for my pain,
sometimes i cant find my way
back in and out of the day,

chorus, distortion

fight, fight with indecision
play, play without wisdom
tell, tell of your vision
fight, fight, dont be proud,[/b]

------------------------------------------------
this is like my 5th song or so i think, im trying to spend a little more time on them now... hehe, would love to hear ANYONES thoughts about this song, and btw, this is all sung very clean, not screaming any lyrics... later smile.gif

numb

10 June 2004 - 06:23 PM

this song is about my juniour high , since school just ended, and im headin on to high school, and also about my first Girlfriend in JH, and how she left me, hehe

verse 1 ( clean )
my days of juniour high
i told so many lies
my heart was broke
i thought i would croke
she said i was dumb
then i went numb

bridge ( distortion )

she said i was dumb
i feel so numb
she said i was dumb
i feel so numb

verse 2 ( clean )

that one day i had a rubber band
'cause of it i got canned
ive always been hurt
by the way, courtney killed kurt ( in backround )
but overall in the sun
i had so much fun

bridge ( distortion )

she said i was dumb
i feel so numb
she said i was dumb
i feel so numb

chorus ( distortion, w/ lead after )

i guess it was my fate
to stare into her eyes of hate
then the bell rang
i walked with shame
the last day of school
really wasnt that cool

verse 3 ( clean )

my days of juniour high
i told so many lies
my heart was broke
i thought i would croke
she said i was dumb
then i went numb

bridge ( distortion )

she said i was dumb
i feel so numb
she said i was dumb
i feel so numb

chorus ( distortion )

i guess it was my fate
to stare into her eyes of hate
then the bell rang
i walked with shame
the last day of school
really wasnt that cool


all right, there it is, let me know what ya think blink.gif

help!

10 June 2004 - 04:14 PM

ok, so, im only 14 here, trying to get better at sing, and suddenly.. my voice is starting to change, all the frekin time when im singing my voice cracks all over the place, and changes pitches all kinds? any help ppl! im playing somewhat around town at like some restauraunts and my school, and im lead vocalists!

the lonely

09 June 2004 - 08:11 PM

heres a new song guys, been trying to make this one a lil better than my others

verse 1 ( clean )

i guess this was my fate,
to stare into the eyes of fate
to see whats on the other side
for now i guess this is good bye

bridge ( distortion )

my concious is so weak
i cant even take another peek
sitting in the corner
being the lonely

verse 2 ( clean )

now im here
with nothing to fear
i looked hate in the eye
i said my good bye
now what do you want?

bridge ( distortion w/ lead )

my concious is so weak
i cant even take another peek
sitting in the corner
being the lonely

chorus ( distortion )

for so long
the sun has been gone
the eyes of life
have left me with knife
you were so kind,
oh well, nevermind
i think im done
or maybe im just happy

let me know what ya think, peace


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