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Mr (and Ms) GTU 2010ROUND 1 -- FIGHT


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#1 jenniferdurst

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Posted 13 December 2010 - 10:33 PM

Sorry I'm starting a weeeee bit late, but I had a family emergency and have been gone.

Since y'all are being royal pains in the ass about nominations, how about everybody who answers the question is nominated. Answers will be rated on a scale of 1-10 and at the end, we'll add up the points.


ONLY YOUR FIRST ANSWER WILL BE JUDGED.


Round one:

Tell us a story about the one time you saved a busload of orphans from some bears...



Go. (Didn't I tell you these were going to be outrageous?)


(also if anybody else would like to be a judge, please PM me)

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#2 mandible

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 12:57 AM

This one time, I was walking from Liverpool to Kenya to raise money for spastics. Turns out the walk was meant to be just for spastics, so there's me, having to look after all these little mongoloid kids, each one tied on to the end of a piece of string, and all the strings tangled up.

So do reduce the load on my arms, and to raise a little more money for the appeal, I sold 10 of the kids off one by one to predatory paedophiles. I let them pick a string, and yank it til they received the prize.

When we reached the English Channel, we realised that we didn't have enough money to get on a ferry. So using the string and the spastics, I managed to create a basic raft. Whilst it had no weaponry, we were confident that we would be able to make it to the other side without great difficulty. I say we were confident... I wasn't, but I was outvoted 40-1 by a bunch of kids who didn't know what a shoe was.

About half way across the channel, a storm started brewing, and (somewhat disorientated) Somalian pirates attacked us out of nowhere. Well, not nowhere, but from an angle which mildly escaped our peripheral vision... and given the giant eyes involved, that in itself was quite an achievement. The pirates muttered a stereotypical "Arrrr !", though in a more blackfaced tone than the movies would have you believe. Less "Arrr, we'll kill ye, scurvy sea dogs", and more "Arrrr, that's some goooood chickun !". I think this was probably due to the fact that our group had previously attempted to devour a KFC family bucket, but it had landed mostly on hair and in anuses (anii ?). Having licked our merry band clean, the pirates retreated back to their stolen boat, and began to drain the sea, like those Jews did in 1936.

We made it to France, where we were greeted by disgraced former international footballer Zinedine Zidane, and a man who referred to himself as "The Gypsy King"... although I think it might just have been Zach Braff. Anyway, as we approached, the King said "Whistly Woo, yon harper tuppers, three riddles have I for ye yet, and if ye guess, free passage, ye'll get". So I stabbed him in his stupid Jew-face, and stole the keys to his car.

Then I drove the rest of the way to Kenya. On reaching Nairobi, I realised I had left the Spastics in Calais.

Anyway, that stuff isn't important, but this one time I saved a busload of orphans from some bears. It was sexy.

Edited by mandible, 14 December 2010 - 04:53 AM.

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#3 wooooogiecrisp

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 05:01 AM

my penis typed the following:
vbnfghrty456 bnmgjhtuy687 cbvdgfetr354 n,mjkluoi890

Follow @McWoggie to the gates of Hell. We're gonna ding-dong ditch them!


#4 Cuphands

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 06:15 AM

I can't be bothered and that's manly. ROAR! :angry:

#5 guru of rock n roll

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 08:51 AM

I never saved anyone. I did alot of drinking and drugs and playing guitar. I try my hardest in not working hard for a living. i always take the easy way out. I try not to lie but have. I have taken things that was not mine when i was young. I don't watch T.V anymore. Internet is my only form of reaching out to the world. As far as saving it i could careless.
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#6 Mick!

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 08:56 AM

Uhh... :unsure:
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Whodaman!?

#7 guru of rock n roll

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 08:57 AM

That's what I said
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#8 crab man

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 10:45 AM

Jen's gonna slaughter you all when she finds this

#9 jenniferdurst

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 10:52 AM

How is Mandy winning so far? Don't you people have an ounce of creativity in you?

Sweet-ass! 351.5 Major-Points�, 1 Loki Ducat�, 1 Herr Mark, 5 Jackson Quints~
"you, my dear, are fabulous" -Trevor James Hawes
"Note to self. Hide penis." -Gus


#10 spacecrumbs

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 10:55 AM

No.

#11 rabid_fox

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 10:57 AM

Fck off, I waited for the bears to glut their appetite and scavenged on the scrap duodenum.
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Looks grim right now.

#12 Naan

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 11:16 AM

How is Mandy winning so far? Don't you people have an ounce of creativity in you?


The fuck? this is a democracy baby...Mandy is on -2...

#13 wooooogiecrisp

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 11:19 AM

How is Mandy winning so far? Don't you people have an ounce of creativity in you?

my dick shouldnt be penalized for his typing. its a very lovely story he tried to write.

Follow @McWoggie to the gates of Hell. We're gonna ding-dong ditch them!


#14 eulogy

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 12:07 PM

*
POPULAR

Surely, bears being endangered species, it would be far wiser for a future Mr. GTU not to save the toddlers, but instead use the toddlers to feed the bear. I mean, toddlers are a dime a dozen nowadays anyway.
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#15 rabid_fox

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 12:32 PM

And not clean up the intestinal bits. Left over. You know. For evidence. Yeah.
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Looks grim right now.

#16 Spongeyguy

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 02:04 PM

I've been baiting bears into the neighborhood with my loud dance music and assless chaps in the hope that they'll take the toddlers with them in their unmarked white vans. Gay = pedo, right?
Let's get dangerous!

#17 crab man

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 02:44 PM

Surely, bears being endangered species, it would be far wiser for a future Mr. GTU not to save the toddlers, but instead use the toddlers to feed the bear. I mean, toddlers are a dime a dozen nowadays anyway.


I don't think I've ever seen a post rated that high

#18 Blugh Grant

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 02:50 PM

politics. lousy democrats....
Posted Image

there seems to be an objective reality that a determined individual can penetrate if he is willing to challenge the confining chimeras of markets and machines

It was written that I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice

http://theonlythingy...d.blogspot.com/

#19 crab man

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 02:50 PM

politics. lousy democrats....


you are a democrat.

#20 Blugh Grant

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Posted 14 December 2010 - 02:54 PM

.........shhhhh
Posted Image

there seems to be an objective reality that a determined individual can penetrate if he is willing to challenge the confining chimeras of markets and machines

It was written that I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice

http://theonlythingy...d.blogspot.com/



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