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randomorwhat

Member Since 08 Jun 2002
Offline Last Active Apr 10 2013 12:55 PM
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Posts I've Made

In Topic: new song: Idiot

03 June 2008 - 07:01 AM

I don't like the use of 'ain't' - just sounds like you're trying a bit too hard. Haven't listened to the soundbite, my laptop is a bit messed up at the moment.
My only other piece of advice would be to mix up the rhyme scheme a bit - you don't want to overuse the ABCB rhyme too quickly.
Your second last stanza is very well controlled, both in meter and ideas, definately the high part of the song.
Simon

In Topic: Hi songwriting!

03 June 2008 - 06:52 AM

Congrats matey. Looks like a lot's changed since I've been away!


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