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Member Since 23 Mar 2005
Offline Last Active Jul 15 2006 11:28 AM

Posts I've Made

In Topic: Why aren't you beautiful?

13 June 2006 - 04:22 AM

i've been in the same position before, though i cant say the same for women and myself-im just too classically handsome for that wink.gif lol. no, in all seriousness, everybody has been there and had it happen to them.

in that sense, it is original. however i do not think for one second that it is one of your strongest set of lyrics. although i cannot pick anything wrong with it specifically, i just dont feel the same crest of emotion that a lot of your works contain. it is solid, but not amazing which is something you seem to attain with the deftest stroke of your prose.

In Topic: Focus

13 June 2006 - 04:14 AM

i understand that from the comments that came before mine!

we'll agree to disagree on this one mate, simply because theres nothing i can proffer to resolve my very minor annoyance with the piece. indeed, i do not beleive i would change a thing. i think i will just live with it!

having said all of that, it is a beautiful little thing.

In Topic: Focus

12 June 2006 - 03:37 PM

long time no critique man!
what can i say other than you're still as good as i remembered. i like the way that you use simple, gritty imagery without cluttering it all up with too many adjectives. i like the way that the emotional resonance of the imagery is interpreted by the reader themselves.
the benches section needs a little re-thinking. there's nothing wrong with it per se, however, it feels like a bit of a road-block in an otherwise seemless ditty. other than that, top dollar.

In Topic: Songs relating to real life experiences

19 February 2006 - 03:42 PM

mate, "Wild Horses" (Rolling stones), "Time Has Told Me" (Nick Drake) and "Two Beds and a Coffee Machine" (Savage Garden) really talk to me. the latter in fact, is basically a history of my life until i was five.

that is the importance and beauty of songwriting-when you can hear something that is basically your life, your situations and your feelings put in a way that doesn't have to be explained implicitly.

In Topic: Fade Away & Walking

09 February 2006 - 07:28 AM

ah, you see im just a frequent visitor to one of those drunken first years wink.gif

just keep the imagery and add some originiality. the little story-ette you added just now had better imagery and was a better story than the song...thats more interesting-cause everyone's done it-and no-one writes about it. sounds like a promising piece

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